It is official!!

I am so thrilled to finally be able to OFFICIALLY tell everyone that I know what my next step is once I leave Miami....

I am moving to New York! 

The General Board of Global Ministries has hired me to be a Mission Interpreter :) WooHoo!!

My start date is September 1, 2013 :)

There are so many emotions running through my veins as I try to wrap up, process, and appreciate the next few weeks of my fast paced life that I can barely keep up with! 

Trying to really process these three big aspects....

Living in/leaving Miami - and being in denial of leaving the happy life I have created here.

Driving back to California - and only being there long enough to unpack, repack, say hi, and then say bye again.

Moving to New York - and thinking of starting a new exciting and wonderful chapter of my life.  I absolutely cannot wait! Side note - I am so happy to be moving somewhere with legitimate seasons - bring it on winter!  Guess I should invest in some socks...

Seriously, God is so awesome.  And truthfully, I am impressed with myself to really trust the nudges that God has provided for me throughout the past few years. 

Thank you God, family, friends, and loved ones for sticking by my side while I live out a life that I believe is teaching me how to love unconditionally, work hard, smile often, and walk humbly.

PS....
Myself and other wonderful missionaries submitted articles to the New World Outlook!  Check out the link below to see the electronic version!  Its pretty awesome :)
http://digital.olivesoftware.com/Olive/ODE/NewWorldOutlook/

Walking is Awesome

I was asked to submit a 500-2000 word article for the New World Outlook magazine. 
Myself and a few other missionaries were asked to write an article using the prompt: Mission Is....
This is what I wrote :)


I have a tattoo on the inner arch of my left foot that says 'Walk Humbly'.  These 10 letters are few that I believe to be some of the most truest, beautiful, and powerful words that I have come across since becoming a missionary. 

I love to walk barefoot around as much as possible.  There is something so freeing about feeling the earth beneath your toes, not having anything between you and the ground, and feeling a connection to God that only comes from the sense of walking.

I love the idea of walking by faith.  To walk by faith is having the courage to wander into the unknown with God, relinquishing all control, and letting God do the rest.  People who dropped their entire lives and followed Jesus knew what great things come from walking by faith. 

 I know that Jesus is the coolest person to have ever walked this earth, and I strive every day to live like Him, talk like Him, and walk like Him.  To walk with as many people as possible.  To walk to as many places as possible.  To walk in love.  To walk by faith and not by sight.  To walk humbly.

A year before I graduated college, I got a calling to become a missionary.  I was so excited that I felt this push to go out into the beautiful world of unknown, and take on something new. 

I have lived in Miami, FL for just under two years.  I have been working at a faith based non-profit organization called Branches, and I work for Project HEAL (Haitian Emergency Assistance and Legal-Aid) which provides free legal and immigration services to Haitians who reside in Florida.  Working with immigration was something completely new to me, and it has taken me quite some time to understand the significance that it has in people's lives. We meet people exactly where they are in life, and walk with them through this part of their journey.  The services that are provided are a significant bridge builder for families and individuals to open doors to work opportunities, making money, supporting their family, and having a life that they can enjoy.  Working directly with Haitian people, my coworkers and I hear the stories of families and their journeys since before and after the earthquake that hit Haiti in 2010.  Stories that range from a family who has come to the states to rebuild their lives, stories of families trying desperately to bring their families to the safer environment that the states provide, stories of families being devastated by death and destruction due to the repercussions of the earthquake, or stories of people trying to make ends meet while living in the states. 

In March 2012, my coworker, Debbie, and I had the opportunity to go to Haiti and experience with them life as they know it.  Going to Haiti was one of the most humbling experiences I have ever had.  We were working to build a clean shower in a tiny village called Don Don, a two hour bumpy drive from where we were staying.  Throughout the days, I made friends with most of the kids, and when I spoke my absolute best Creole, the children would still laugh hysterically!  So, we bonded through playing games and singing songs we all knew the tune to.  I was struggling to make deep connections with the young adults and adults due to language barriers, but still made connections that I will always cherish.  Debbie is Haitian and speaks Creole as her first language.  It was wonderful to see her connect with local people and to hear the amazing stories that she got first hand.

Over the years in Haiti, there have been the introduction of motorcycles and cars, making it easier to get from place to place.  Debbie had bonded with an elderly woman who remembers what life was like when the only way to get from place to place, was to walk.  This woman was able to cary 50+ pounds on top of her head, without hesitation.  She walked everywhere she went.  She also had no shoes, and all she asked from us was to get a pair of shoes. 

Debbie had told her that she would try and get her pair of shoes before we left Haiti.  On our last day up in Don Don, we were ready to leave, when Debbie remembered about this woman and her desire for a pair of shoes.  Debbie took the shoes off her feet and gave them to this elderly woman, without hesitation.  For that moment, Debbie was walking barefoot in love and in faith.  That moment was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever witnessed.

This moment perfectly encompasses what it means to live like Jesus, talk like Jesus, and walk like Jesus.  That moment was a reminder of how we should live always.

Life as a missionary would not be possible without the ability to walk on this never-ending, beautiful, and powerful journey with God.  I believe that God provides instances in life that requires us to relinquish all control and put our full trust and faith in God.  That ability and willingness to relinquish control (even something as small as giving the pair of shoes that are on your feet to someone else), is what it is to walk in love, to walk in faith, and to walk humbly.  My hope for myself as I grow as a missionary, and as a child of God, is to find a way to take off my pair of shoes, and walk barefoot in love and in faith.

Technically, I am not barefoot in this picture!  But my TOMS are second choice to walking barefoot :)

Beautiful Indeed

Happy Moments

Praise God

I've come to find myself trying to constantly love and embrace the tiny happy moments...
- the way the sun illuminates the plants and flowers on the farm
- a smile from a stranger
- bear hugs from good friends
- Skype dates with loved ones
- phone calls with parents
- laughter in my work space
- beautiful 70 degree weather in January!
Seriously, Thank you God for blessing us all with tiny happy moments.  Challenging myself to seek, love, and embrace these moments is what recharges my spiritual, emotional, and physical health.
I am happy, and that's an incredible blessing.

Difficult Moments

Seek God

Right now, I am extensively seeking out God.  With the end of my US2 term near in sight, trying to decide what the next step is (and taking the time to embrace what is left of Miami)... is well, quite difficult.
- Seminary?
- School?
- Finding another job.... Blah
- Leaving those that I love in Miami
- The start of yet another chapter of life
Seriously, Seeking God is crucial when making the next step in my life.  Its extremely scary, wonderful, exciting, and difficult to move forward... But I know my heart will guide me to go to the places I need to be.  Till then, lots of prayer, and lots of reading Ephesians 3:14-21 and Romans 12, 13, 14, and 15.

Quiet Moments

Worship God

Finding that time to calm my mind, and focus on our beautiful God.  Its been a while since I have found something that allows me to actually worship God. Funnily enough, it is in the quietest of moments...
- Painting
- Drawing
- Reading my Bible (Yes! That really happens!)
- Sitting outside on the farm
- Music (though it is not silent, it still allows my heart to be quiet.. Thank you God for music)
What would the world be without quiet?  Madness....
What would the world be without worshiping God? Madness....

Painful Moments

Trust God

God knows the painful moments that we each have experienced.  No need to list those.
I have learned (significantly) how to trust God... because the pain can sometimes hurt so bad that there is nothing else you can do for yourself.  But somewhere deep down, even when we may be at rock bottom, we trust that God will bring us back up from the bottom. 
I love that God has got my back.

Every Moment

Thank God

Seriously, Thank you God. 
It is not hard to love God.  It is not hard to be loved by God. 
It is the most pure, beautiful, absolutely wonderful feeling I have ever come to know.
Thank you God for pumping our hearts full of love each day, providing us with a life that we deserve to live to the fullest, and being faithful to us no matter what.
Thank you God for being beautiful.
Amen.

Wandering

Faith is simple, pure, and lovely.  Religion is messy, political, and overwhelming.
This may not be true to all, but it resignates peacefully in my soul.

I am happy with who/where I am in my faith.  I am happy with the relationship God and I share.  I feel grounded in my faith, but I am not so grounded what it means to be a person of the church, a person of religion.  How to identify myself within the 'overall picture' that people of religion are creating for themselves.

So as I wander along this journey of identity within faith and religion.. I invite you to pray with me.

Dearest God,

For this reason I bow to my knees before you, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of your glory that you may grant us to be strengthened with power through your Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith - that we, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled with all the fullness of  you, dear God.
Now to you, Oh God, who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to you, God, be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.

Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21
Prayer for Spiritual Strength

This prayer is for spiritual strength and to have the ability to know that this period of questioning, wandering, and getting lost is exactly where I need to be.

Left my heart in Haiti

Amazing how fast time flies!
Yes, it has been a month and a half since my last blog.
Yes, so much has happened in the past month and a half.
No, I will not be blogging about everything that has happened...

But I will give quick headlines -

• Successfully went to (and returned from!) Haiti - the huge bulk of this blog is about Haiti... :) 
• Successfully helped plan and execute South Florida Urban Ministries largest fundraiser - Black Tie Blue Jeans.  We raised a lot of money and had a great time dressing up for the occasion :)
• Successfully been successful at work :)
• Successfully executed a surprise visit back to California for my Mom and Dad (and sorority sisters, extended family, and church family!). That was incredibly amazing, fun, spontaneous, wonderful, and so enriching! I am so excited to head back in June for my big brother's wedding! 

But now to the meat of this blog...
I want you to get a glimpse of what I saw, how I felt, and how I saw God while in Haiti.
Oh, Haiti.. Beautiful, eye-opening, heart aching, amazing Haiti.
It feels like I returned from Haiti just yesterday.

I think about how cramped the plane felt, how excited I was to land in the lucious green mountains, my first impression of the incredibly tiny airport, the interesting stares that the locals gave our group, the car that fit 8 people comfortably - yet we manage to squeeze 11, how small I felt when I was unable to communicate to another human without a translator, how I thought we were never going to make it to the Manse - there were no traffic lights, 4 cars fitting in a 2 car path, motorcycles zipping around every direction, absolute traffic chaos, how blessed we were to had stayed in a house that had toilets and electricity - those being some of the greatest luxuries in Haiti...

I think about how long the drive from Cap-Haitian to Dondon felt, how incredibly uncomfortable our car was driving up on the hour long bumpy and gravel road, how there was not much construction work for Debbie and I to do... So instead we played with the children, how I was able to communicate with children by playing hand games, laughing, singing, and smiles, how just the snap of a picture on my camera would create such excitement, how the children had nothing to play with but toys that they made themselves, how one kid named Rolex taught me how to sing 'This Is The Day' in Creole and French, how I fell head over heels for a 4 year old boy named Patricio - his picture is below, how could you not fall in love with that smile!....

I think about the worship services that we attended, how incredibly passionate the people were at praising God, how excited I was to recognize a tune that they were singing, how the sound of the children singing brought sheer bliss to my ears, how even though I could not understand the language of the sermon I was still about to understand the message, how you could tell that God was oh so present, how I have never seen ANYONE praise God like they were, how I wish I could worship every Sunday with them!...
I think about meeting Madame Zaphyr, how she only had about 6 teeth left from being malnourished as a child, how she was the president of the coffee Co-Op next door to the church that we were working at, how she would smile so wonderfully when I would happily yell her name every time I saw her, how she had 9 kids who all took care of each other, how she would be the first person to help us with any construction work, how she was the most respected individual in Dondon (I absolutely fell in love with her)....

I think about splitting up 150 pounds of rice and 150 pound of beans for the Dondon community, how grateful families were to receive one tiny bag of food, how the average income of Dondon is $150 a year, how despite their living situations they always found a reason to smile, how every family in the community knew and respected each other, how every day someone would ask me for money because if you are from America you are rich beyond measures, how a 90 year old woman wanted no food or no money, but wanted a pair of shoes so that she could walk on the gravel road to get water without destroying her feet anymore than they already were...

I think about the pain I felt when talking to a family whose 3 year old daughter fell into boiling water burning 80% of her body, how utterly thankful the mother was that our work team graciously prayed for her daughter and her family, how it did not matter that we did not speak the same language but that we believed in the same God, how the little girl and her family had no access to emergency care and were truly relying on the power of faith that she would survive, how I have prayed for that family every single day wishing that I could help, how I hope that God is watching over that little girl and keeping her safe...
I think about how excited I am to find another opportunity to go back and visit, how I hope to stay connected with the people that we encountered, how I hope to one day reside in Haiti longer than one week, how I hope that the people we met while in Haiti know that we care, love, and think of them all the time, how I know that God's big plan is at work every second of every day, how I know that God will provide for Haiti...


Those are just SOME of the memories/thoughts that I think about.  I could write a blog long enough to go around the world 60 times if I were to share every thought, laugh, moment, or conversation that I had while in Haiti.
I distinctly remember how nervous and worried I was before going to Haiti.  Seems very ridiculous now.  I made friends, shared laughs, sang songs, praised God, learned some of a new language, lived with people, loved with people, and had an experience that I am forever thankful for.  I truly felt the presence of God at work... It was undeniable how much faith some of the people that I met have.  The faith that some of these people possess is one that I am working toward constantly.  To know that God is on our side, and that God will provide, God will ALWAYS provide.

I have been dissecting, reminiscing, and thinking so passionately about Haiti since I left.  I want to go back, very soon.  But until then, my coworker and I have started up something small.....
Once a month we are sending boxes of clothes, toiletries, and school supplies to Dondon.  Our first box is being sent off soon!  We have little money, but lots of supporters.  Debbie and I find it that it is part of our calling (and love) to send items that the people of Dondon have no access to.
If you, or anyone you know, would like to help us, please do!
You can contact me via FB or text or email or even this blog!
You can send anything to me anytime of the year, and we will make sure that it does get sent to Dondon, Haiti - we have reliable sources to get the materials to Dondon :)
Even if you cannot send items to Haiti, then please send your prayers.  Those are ALWAYS needed.

Thank you for reading this, and thank God for giving us the ability to learn, share, and grow from each other.

Peace, Love, and Grace

Haiti Time :)

You see.... I am leaving for Haiti tomorrow morning.  Off to Cap-Haitian with a UMC construction work team for 8 days.
I have tried to write about my worries, why I am nervous to go, why I am not ready to go, how I know I will survive these 8 days, how I am worried about the plane ride, the stories that I have heard about Haiti, etc...
Not one of those blogs were sitting well with me, and I figured out why... Thankfully!

Because this trip is not about me.
This trip is about something bigger, beyond anything I can imagine.
This trip is about God.

I was so concerned about me, and how I am going to make it, how I am nervous, how I am this, how I am that....
I had it all wrong.

It is about the people who are in Haiti.  It is about being put in new situations that will help individuals.  It is about God having a bigger plan for everyone. It is about being confident in that bigger plan.  It is about relationships, fellowship, and love.  It is about faith, smiles, and dancing.  It is about hugs, laughing, singing, and story telling.  It is about worship.  Worshiping God.  Taking advantage of new experiences.  Being part of those experiences with one another.
These of which I will participate in, of course.  So ultimately, I am part of the whole picture.  But my worries, needs, and nervousness should not distract me from why I am going.  Why God is sending me to Haiti.
To build relationships.
To laugh.
To love.
To worship.
To have faith.
To build friendships.
To sing.
To be confident in God's plan.
To dance.
To take advantage of a new experience.
To grasp opportunities.
To be with the people in Haiti.
.........To do construction work for new toilets, showers, and better water systems! Woo Hoo!

Are you pumped yet?
Because I am super pumped to go now!

I must now finish packing.  I am so excited :)
Please pray for the work team I am going with, the people in Haiti, the struggles that Haiti is still facing, and for a brighter, more peaceful, and positive future for everyone.

Love you all.  You will hear from me in a week!
Love, Peace, and Grace :)

Something Different

Dear Awesome, Amazing, Beautiful, Heavenly God,
Allow the questions that flow through my fingers to be yours.  Directed to no one in particular.  To know that some will be answered, but to also know that we may never know the answers to others.
When in your life have you let God take complete control?  When in your life have you allowed nothing to fill your mind but the Holy Spirit?  When in your life have you silenced the chaos in the world, the chaos in your neighborhood, and the chaos in your heart?  When in your life was the last time you stopped... and prayed?  When in your life was the last time you had a conversation with a stranger?  When was the last time you laughed until you cried?  When in your life did you see the true beauty of the nature that surrounds you?  When was the last time you looked at another human being and thought 'They are different, and they are beautiful'? When was the last time you held hands with a stranger? When was the last time you smiled at a stranger?  When is the last time you allowed yourself to be spiritually vulnerable?  When was the last time you shared your faith with someone else?  When in your life have you felt so loved that it overwhelmed you?  When was the last time you thanked God for giving you the grace to love? When in your life have you felt the most spiritually and faithfully sound with God?  When was the last time you smiled at God?  When was the last time you acknowledged that God is playful?  When in your life have you been confident in releasing your worries and doubts because you know that God is there?  When in your life have you felt free... because you know that God is smiling over you?  When in your life have you felt a peace in your heart that surpasses all understanding?
I have not all the answers.  I only have questions.  I will seek You always.
Amen.

Prayer.... Something that I have struggled with for a long time.
I was recently told that there is no wrong way to pray.  That it is a conversation.  A conversation that could be heard by many, but only truly understood by God.
So I began to experiment... and found the best form of prayer for me is...

To ask questions.

Thirty percent of the time, I ask God questions.  Seventy percent of the time, God asks me the questions.
Together, God and I, are not searching for answers... We are searching for the comfort of each other.
Together, God and I, do not need immediate results... We need to know that we are listening to one another.
Together, God and I, are not questioning our faith... We are strengthing our connection.

This prayer was specific to When.  I think When questions are awesome to ask because they allow the mind to wander to places that sometimes do not get visited enough by our memory.  The memory floods throughout my body and I get to remember Who was there, What happened, Where I was, Why did that moment happen, How has that moment changed me.  The point of asking When questions is not to find the answers, but to allow me to realize how much I have done, and what I still have to look forward to.
I do not pray out loud often.  But today it felt organic to share that pray with you.

My roommates and I have made it habit (more or less) to take time out of our night schedules, and pray together.  And let me tell you, I can feel a difference in out household.  I cannot lay a finger on what the difference is... But it is there, and it is beautiful. Prayer is beautiful.
All types of prayer is acceptable.  There is not wrong or right way to pray, that is something that I have had to learn.  I now make an effort to take 5 minutes out of my schedule daily and make time for me and God.  It actually is not that hard to take time and no one is ever too busy to stop... and pray. 

So I ask... How do you pray?